To give you a little more direction, I offer you the description of an EFFECTIVE essay, as written by The College Board:
8-9 (effective): These essays offer a persuasive argument defending, refuting, or qualifying the idea that moderation can be an obstacle to success. These essays offer a range of interpretations; they provide convincing readings of the literature we've studied and use apt evidence from said pieces to support their position. They demonstrate consistent and effective control over the elements of composition in language appropriate to the analysis of literature. Their textual references are apt and specific. Though they may not be error-free, these essays are perceptive in their analysis and demonstrate writing that is clear and sophisticated, and in the case of an essay scored a 9, especially persuasive.
Out of the many responses given to the prompt of moderation, Nicole Siembieda provided a persuasive argument that an excess amount of moderation or too much passion in one specific subject is not a beneficial way to success. Nicole introduced the readers with a strong and distinguishing declaration in order to get her point of view across immediately. She then used universal examples to connect this broad idea and provide a platform to which the readers can relate to them. Taking this new opportunity after catching the readers’ attention, Nicole immediately jumped right into the first piece of literature, Frankenstein. Nicole provided few of details of his background information, including information about family life, mental health, and his passion for his creation. Through this information, Nicole proved through a more emotional way that although he succeeded in his creation, he made unnecessary sacrifices that effected his love life, family, and mental health. Nicole also provided another literature piece which also connects directly to the idea that too much passion can lead to ultimate corruption. Through the works of Canterbury Tales, Nicole pointed out how Chaucer only focuses on one specific personality trait throughout the characters. She does an excellent job comparing not only the virtuous character, the Knight, but also includes the sinful character, the Friar. Although vastly different, the characters are similar in the way that they have one major focus which helped them succeed but also was the cause to the forgotten other parts of their life.
ReplyDeleteAlthough Nicole is mostly on the side of too much passion in one subject is unhealthy, she also supported the other perspective through the last pieces of literature, Brave New World and Macbeth. Since the society in Brave New World is mostly made up of unity and the idea of overall simplicity. She supported this argument by showing that many of citizens are unhappy with their lifestyle, proving that too much moderation can be a cause of failure. Nicole has demonstrated that too much ambition can put one into a similar position like Macbeth. Regarding the play Macbeth, Nicole pointed out that although Macbeth had success of becoming king, in the end, his plan was unsuccessful, resulting in his own death. Nicole proved that if his ambition did not take over all his thoughtless actions, his life would have been more pleasant and successful. Nicole finally connected all the literature pieces into proving her argument that the overuse of moderation or the ambition of one task can lead to an unsuccessful life. Throughout Nicole’s word choice, evidence through the pieces of literature, and overall connection to the readers, Nicole’s response was one of the most outstanding and interesting writings to read out of the many.
Moderation in Logos, Pathos, And Ethos
ReplyDeleteMakenna Leung argues that moderation is not an obstacle to the pursuit of achievement and success, which counters my personal belief that moderation is a substantial obstacle to the pursuit of achievement and success. However, Makenna’s response uses exhaustive persuasion and pertaining evidence, consequently making the idea that moderation is an obstacle to achieving anything extraordinary questionable. In addition, Makenna uses superb diction, along with references to all the works of literature that have been explored during the first semester of English 2 Honors: Frankenstein by Mary Shelley, Brave New World by Aldous Huxley, Canterbury Tales by Geoffrey Chaucer, and Macbeth by Shakespeare. Furthermore, Makenna utilizes the three categories of persuasion, logos, ethos, and pathos, in her lengthy response.
Logos is prevalent throughout Makenna’s argument that moderation is not an obstacle to the pursuit of achievement and success. Makenna uses logos to her advantage my simply stating examples from the literature listed above, and explicitly describing how they connect to her valuable point. For example, Frankenstein’s obsession with creating the monster obstructs his ability to predict the ramifications of his creations, thereby resulting in detrimental effects, like Frankenstein’s family being murdered. This case allows Makenna to then make the veracious point that if Frankenstein had considered moderation when creating the monster, he would have accounted for these ramifications, and thereby prevented the disaster stated above. This argument appeals to the reader since the reader can understand the coherent causes and effects of moderation, or in the above case, lack there of. Additionally, Makenna makes the valuable point that balance in life is prudent for success in a healthy way, meaning that moderation contributes to a healthy and ideal lifestyle.
Although logos is utilized throughout Makenna’s argument, the prominent use of ethos and pathos cannot be ignored. Makenna makes the weighing point that Frankenstein puts extreme effort into his creation, although he puts minimal thought into how this new life would be cared for. Therefore, this demonstrates how the lack of moderation can cause ethics and morality to be compromised. Thus, this awareness of ethics shown in Makenna’s argument gives her reasoning credibility. In addition to ethos, this example also utilizes pathos to support Makenna’s point of view. Makenna is cognizant of how Frankenstein did not account for the creature’s feelings when creating the monster, which thereby activates the reader’s emotions of sympathy and sadness. These emotions are important to Makenna’s argument because the more emotion attached to her reasons, the more rememberable and persuasive her argument is. Furthermore, Makenna establishes the point that all the benevolent characters in Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales display all seven virtues, proving that moderation and balance are prudent to high morals. Finally, Makenna’s response deserves to be celebrated as the best response because she utilizes relevant evidence, alongside the persuasive techniques of logos, ethos, and pathos.
From all of the essays I read, I found Helen Huang's to be especially effective, exhaustive, and eloquent. Her definition of success was clear: the completion of a task of any size. She answered the prompt concisely and simply, using specific examples from three of the different pieces of literature used this year. Each of the examples made use of a similar theme; these characters all found their downfall from their dangerous level of passion. She told of how, although Victor found his original and planned success in creating the monster, he was ultimately dissatisfied because he felt no personal "success". This idea was incredibly thought-provoking, because it led me to consider humanity and its definition of success. I realized that most do not consider success at a personal level, but at the level of societal standards.
ReplyDeleteHelen's entire body of work was intriguing, suggesting that unfocused and unconstrained ambition leads to ultimate failure. It brought to light that Lady Macbeth, John, and Victor were, in essence, almost the same people. They were people who lost track of themselves in the ambitions that preceded themselves, people driven too far by their greatest desires. These people truly represent who each and everyone could become without restraint or a guiding light.
Logos, ethos, and pathos were very well used in Helen's essay. Each and every piece of evidence found its root in fact, and, especially in her analysis of Lady Macbeth, Helen employs important details from the novel to examine the character's ultimate fate. She knows her audience very well, using her eloquent speech and extensive vocabulary to communicate her beliefs. Much of Helen's proof is also emotional, especially in her study of John's character and his ill-fated passion for change. Overall, Helen's explanation was very effective and well thought-out, and her essay would definitely be deserving of a 9.
I believe JJ Abele’s essay answered the prompt the most effectively. Her essay contained many different views on the prompt, spurring me, the reader, to carefully consider each perspective given. Her essay stood out from the bunch because of its abstract reasoning about moderation limiting success. One with a sane mind would not normally consider moderation to be an obstacle in murder. People do not usually how to carry out a murder successfully. This made little to no sense to me. Seeming like it was lacking logos, I decided to really think deeply of the strange perspective provided. It began to make sense and really showed the depth of thought and effort put into her response. This atypical response actually answered the prompt effectively and really, really stood out from the others. Overally, JJ’s response answer the prompt in my opinion the best because of its many well thought out perspectives on the prompt, some more freakish than the norm.
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteI chose to read over Russell’s response, which I believe answered the prompt effectively, exhaustively, and eloquently. In his response, he believed that moderation is essential in decision making, and if it were applied to each story, would have brought a more beneficial life for many of the characters. He believed that moderation would have been useful to many characters, as opposed to it being an obstacle to succeed.
Russell organized his essay into a far more organized essay compared to mine, making it a lot easier to read and realize his main points and arguments, allowing it to fit the criteria of effectively answering the question. Russell uses pathos through the use of Macbeth’s death, and the Frankenstein plot, both used to garner sympathy for deaths. His use of these plots help to bring up the question of “what if” that allows for human sympathy to be vulnerable in his argument. This also ties in with logos. What person would be “alright” with a death of a family member, or someone elses family member. The use of moderation to possibly prevent death is a powerful usage of logos.
Furthermore, Russell exhaustively answers the prompt by only using one or two strong examples to answer the prompt. He used one strong example from each story in separate paragraphs, as opposed to multiple weak examples. He simply provides the example, elaborates on their value, and how they prove or disprove his point quickly and efficiently.
Finally, Russell used clear and precise language to prove his point. He used diction that clearly described what he meant, which ultimately made me believe that his essay was a high 8. It had all 3E’s and was enlightening to read.
The blog entry I decided to pick to analyze and explain why their entry was so effective in illustrating their ideas on the topic was Ian Miller. One of the main reasons I decided to use Ian’s entry to analyze is because of the fair and open mindset he gave to both sides of the topic. Although his conclusion to if moderation is an obstacle to success and achievements was not in confirmation with that statement, contrary to my opinion, it showed in his first paragraph that he looked at both sides with the same amount of effort. Mainly, the focus of him comparing the two sides was to show how greatness and success cannot come without pushing you potential and personal limit; however, Ian believed that if a person went beyond this personal capacity, then that would be even worse than restraining your passion. Also, a standout detail which led to the decision of using Ian’s entry was his use of real-life applications. By using this method, this allows the readers, including me, to relate and feel more connected to the issue at hand. Overall I do believe that Ian used the 3Es effectively and deserves to be recognized as one of the better responses.
ReplyDeleteIn order to come up with an efficient response, logos, ethos, and pathos are extremely critical. To start off, without the proper use of logical ideas, entries of any type of literary or any type of persuasion writing cannot be effective. Looking at Ian’s entry, when he uses Victor Frankenstein from Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein, many facts that actually occurred in the novel are brought up as evidence for why over-ambition is deadly and moderation is necessary. This use of logos is shown when Ian states how “Frankenstein became too engrossed with his love of science. His ardent dedication to his experiment blinded him to the consequences of his work”. Implementing factual events from the novel allows the reader to acknowledge the truth in what Ian is describing due to the universal rule that all facts are true statements.
In addition, the use of ethos is equally as pertinent as adding logical evidence. The reader can only acknowledge the logical evidence behind Ian’s example if they truly believe that he is credible. In order to prove his credibility, Ian began to go into detail on the further plot of Frankenstein. This not only shows the reader that Ian has indeed read the novel Frankenstein but also understood and interpreted the text in the right way. Adding on to the credibility of Ian’s entry, he also implements more ethos when he begins to travel on a journey to the past to further prove his understanding of the topic of moderation. When Ian uses Thomas Edison as an example to show the reader the ardent work that he put in to achieve the satisfaction of inventing the improved lightbulb, the reader can now justify Ian as being well informed of the topic as well as being an educated person.
The last technique implemented into Ian’s writing was his use of pathos, or the amount of emotion. In order to get a point across, being emotional and expressing a certain amount of energy helps the reader to understand how much you really care for the writing you put so much time into. One example of many where Ian used pathos to help get his point across was when he began to describe the come up story of soccer player Neymar. One may think while reading Ian’s entry that using an irrelevant figure to a literary discussion is useless to the point of the entire writing piece. However, using this type of example emotionally engages the reader and not only helps them understand Ian’s big idea better, but it also encourages the reader to want to look more on the subject of moderation and find out for themselves if it is indeed an obstacle like Ian described or the exact opposite.
In my opinion, the first Final Preparation blog entry written by Julia Kahen about how moderation as an obstacle to success answered the prompt effectively, exhaustively, and eloquently. By beginning her entry with a quote from a character whom we all know and love, she increased her credibility as a critic of the pieces we have studied this year. In this response, the author believes that the definition of success is subjective, as has been seen in the perceptions of the different societies of many novels, including those we have studied so tediously. In Canterbury Tales, the author criticizes the necessity of moderation in the society of the Elizabethan era. During the times in which religion is so important to all, those who do not exhibit the perfect amounts of the Seven Cardinal Virtues cannot achieve their quite specific definition of success. To the author of the blog, a person has achieved success when they are doing what they actually want to be doing rather than what their society tells them to. A character such as the Franklin in the story is portrayed to be sinful due to his imbalance of his virtues and sins, according to those living in the Elizabethan era. He is living the life he wishes to live happily without giving a thought as to what others will think of him. In the case of the characters of Canterbury Tales by Geoffrey Chaucer, moderation has not helped them to achieve success whatsoever. The author uses pathos here to relate to her audience by stating her own opinions and how she understands the story in her own way. She also uses logos by taking an example character from Canterbury Tales to reference when explaining her point. Our author also uses a different perspective of the prompt in how moderations aids in achieving success. In Macbeth, the main character Macbeth utilizes his excess of passion and determination to simply gain physical success while killing his best friend as well as his father. He does not deserve the success he gains because of the amount he has made himself lose due to his attitude towards moderation as an obstacle to success. The author of this blog, by including another point of view, truly shows her credibility because of her lack of bias in her writing. This response has clearly showed a large amount of ethos, pathos, and logos, and deserves to be celebrated as one of the best of the bunch.
ReplyDeleteI believe that JJ Abele’s essay regarding the topic of how moderation does not lead to success is one of the best compared to the others. JJ’s essay is made up of several components that direct me to my conclusion.
ReplyDeleteHer essay was very effective, as it truly embraced and delivered a piece of writing that clearly answered the assigned prompt. Unlike other people’s essays, I could clearly identify what stance she had in relation to the question. In her first paragraph, she gets to the point quickly. There is no off topic information distracting the reader from the intended purpose of the essay. She provides relevant and valid points about how moderation often does not lead to success. Her body paragraphs are even more outstanding. Each paragraph has a clear topic, with valuable examples supporting her concrete details. Her conclusion sentences were the pretty red bow on the already amazing gift of JJ’s essay. They really tied everything together, reassuring the reader on their already confident knowledge of the essay’s validity.
This essay was so exhaustive, that it even made me tired as it was too good! JJ truly did not slack off when providing evidence and examples supporting her argument. JJ even mentioned three of the books that we read in class. The connections from the book to real life were truly remarkable. The points that she made were very unique, that I did not even think of them before reading her essay! For example, she explains the reason that Bernard did not try to inflict more humanity on his lifeless society was because of the moderation in he had in life, which in the end was not effective. This really made me take a step back and say “Wow JJ. That is a damn good argument.” Similarly, JJ’s paragraph about Frankenstein was very persuasive. My favorite line was when she stated “His goal was never to foster a loving relationship with and to nurture this creature, so this disastrous piece of the outcome cannot be attributed to Victor’s ferocity with which he completed his experiment.” While writing my own essay, I did not include how Frankenstein’s lack of moderation led him to success because I was hesitant, as completing his goal led to his ultimate doom. However, JJ’s argument proved that it is still a valid point.
The eloquence in this essay truly astounded me. Her choice of diction affirmed JJ’s great writing techniques and style. They proved how she could strategically place words in certain places to make her arguments seem more valid. Additionally, it made me enjoy reading the essay more, as it sounded like it was written by an author, or even you Mrs. Dibble (who is superior to any author or teacher).
Finally, the use of pathos, logos, and ethos was like the birthday card in the gift of JJ’s essay. It pleasantly surprised me. The ethos used while explaining the importance of Frankenstein is essential. She uses words like “painful” and “intense” to really make the reader feel just how difficult Frankenstein’s journey was while making the creature. At the same time, it affirmed JJ’s opinion that without the pain and hardships you have to go through, success will never be achieved. In her example of Brave New World, JJ uses the power of ethos. The ethics and values of Bernard presented to the reader lead us to understand why being moderate is really just being a coward. If Bernard had followed through with his ethics, he would not have failed in achieving his goal of inflicting more humanity into his society. Finally, logos is used primarily in the example regarding Macbeth. JJ provides clear examples of why Macbeth would have succeeded with his goal if he had been passionate about it. However, since he was unsure about himself, therefore being moderate, there were dire consequences. This logic is an essential part of what makes JJ’s essay so special. Her use of logos provides the reader with a reliable narrator of sorts, one who the reader can count on for a perfectly persuasive essay.
In my opinion, Aksh’s answer answered the prompt the most eloquently, effectively, and exhaustively. Exhibiting ethos, pathos, and logos, his blog answer is written creatively and with reason. I think that one of the biggest things that he used to answer the prompt was pathos. For example, Aksh uses two contrasting stories and characters, Brave New World’s Mustapha Mond and Frankenstein’s Victor Frankenstein, to prove his point. By using two extremes and complete opposites in his argument, Aksh was able to show that having either an excess in moderation, like Mustapha Mond, or and excess in ambition, like Frankenstein can be deleterious to one’s life. This use of logos in the essay can also be seen in Aksh’s use of comparisons and similes when he makes references to real life events and people. For example, in one sentence he says, “An argument framing ambition the true cause of harm is analogous to saying that Einstein is responsible for the creation of the atom bomb, whereas he simply expanded the capabilities of science which when exploited by others led to that disastrous creation.” Many people know Einstein and his inventions and by making this comparison, Aksh has opened a view that everyone can understand and relate to, creating a more convincing argument all together. Going back to the beginning of the essay, Aksh opens with a creative and interesting sentence that pulls the reader in. This can be considered pathos because he is showing his creativity and passion in the sentence. Like using Einstein as logos, Aksh also uses other daily life example that the reader can somewhat relate to, such as saying, “Countless years of study are undertaken by scientists before they make any significant contribution to this world, a task that is impossible to undertake if one is not passionate for the path he or she is undertaking.” Students can understand this, knowing that, for example, it is hard to focus on a subject of class that they find boring or that they are not passionate about. In addition, Aksh’s diction and the way that he builds these sentences is great, and shows ethos. He is able to convey that he is a knowledgeable writer who knows what he is talking about. Because ethos, pathos, and logos were used so cleverly in this essay and because he used great examples, I believe that Aksh’s “response deserves to be celebrated as one of the best of the bunch.”
ReplyDeleteThe essays written in response to the thought-provoking question relating to moderation all highlighted and persuaded the reader on why they are right. The essays represent how they believe moderation should be used. All essay analyze several books that were read, while also using the books to convey their point. Although all essays are put together well Nicole Siembida wrote an essay that used logos, ethos, and pathos while still being organized. Her use of logos, ethos, and pathos helps the reader truly understand all aspects of why moderation has both a bad and good effect on one's life.
ReplyDeleteNicole’s use of logos helps persuade the reader to believe her point of view. Logos is the use of evidence, facts, or examples used in a piece of writing to help convey the point trying to be made. In the essay the jobs of doctors and health professionals are mentioned which is a great way of bringing logos in the essay. The facts about how these certain professions often tell us to balance our diet help us relate and understand the point trying to be persuade. The use of this example shows how a balance of moderation is needed and how this can be seen in many other aspects of life. Another use of logos is threaded through the whole essay using novels as evidence to what the essay is trying to prove. The use of evidence falls under logos which illuminates the hardship and help moderation gives people. Overall through this whole essay a copious amount of logos was used to help convey the message.
Ethos is how the writer builds credibility by relating with the readers age group or language. The essay shows this by using the example of college and applications. By using this the essay relates to the high school age group that reads this essay because most are thinking about college and how to get in. By doing this the writer gains the trust of the readers by relating to them and helping them understand the point by using an example they understand. The point that is conveyed through this use of ethos is how one must keep a spread of many different activities rather than building on one activity once again showing that weight must be distributed and balanced.
Lastly, pathos relates to one's emotion by using specific words and phrases. While restating Frankenstein the essay talks about losing love and happiness. Using these seemingly happy words and making them turn into a gloomy mood speaks to the readers emotions. By choosing those simple happy words and turning them into heartache, by accompanying them with lose shows the thought and word choice put into this essay to make sure pathos was clearly shown. This plays with heartache and sadness to help the reader really feel how too much ambition can cause such horrible dismal. Thus, this essay shows great thought and hard work by having the well thought out uses of logos, ethos, and pathos. Although some mistakes were made this essay shows dedication and conveys the point of balance well which is why it deserves and 8 out of 10.
I found Ian Miller’s essay on whether moderation is better equipped for success compared to high passion and ambition very informative. To me, it met the requirements and expectations for what a proper essay is. I noticed his high use of logos in his first paragraph that truly hit all the main points that were needed to convey a convincing argument. In the process, he also convinced me of his credibility for the topic, as he sounds like he understands the question well and was able to construct his answer through being informed himself. Hence, his use of ethos. He provides insight into why Victor (from Mary Shelly’s Frankenstein) is an adequate example as to why the lack of moderation can cause a detrimental effect on not just the character themselves but the surrounding ones. He used Brave New World as another example to show what a society is like without proper moderation; the loss of individuality which he believes leads to the loss of art, creativity, and happiness. While ending his paragraph, he starts touching the topic of pathos, in which he starts the connect to the reader emotionally.
ReplyDeleteIn Ian’s second paragraph, he makes a smart decision in connecting moderation to what his readers (high school students) can relate to. This is a smart move as the students at this particular school are very concerned about getting into collage and knowing this Ian uses this to his advantage. He also mentions several well-known people that have a wide range of job professions so that he is more likely to reach a wider audience with his use of pathos. In the end, he does agree that passion, no doubt, plays a role in success but mentions how moderation simplifies the steps to getting there. He wraps up his essay well with a though provoking sentence that closes his well-thought-out idea that moderation is necessary, but only to a point, when it comes to success.
After reading all of the responses I decided on the essay written by the one and only Ian Miller. Ians essay stood out to me because he not only used the literature that we have read this year but also real world examples. This helped me connect to the examples and points he was providing causing me to be more drawn to his point of view. This very clearly inhibits the use of pathos in order to spike my emotional need to connect to characters and people. Pathos is also used when describing handicaps that successful people received in life to show how passion is useful in overcoming obstacles. He also provides examples that defend both sides of the prompt such as showing how the passion of Victor frankenstein lead to the suffering of everything around him vs. how passion lead businessmen like Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg have used their passion to better the world and become extremely successful and wealthy. This is factual evidence of the authors ideas showing logos or logical persuasion. By citing much of his information from literature that he himself has read the reader can deducted that he is a credible source showing ethos in this essay. Ian overall view on the issue was that passion is needed to be successful to a point, then moderation must be exhibited to prevent the escalation of poor decisions. He proves this through his use of ethos, pathos, and logos in excess and his use of proper grammar and worth english 2 honors diction.
ReplyDeleteAfter perusing through the numerous responses, Aksh’s claim struck me as particularly well written. Actually, “particularly well written” does not give justice to his assertation, as the eloquence is beyond astronomical compared to the average student. His use of metaphors and real-life situations promptly and effectively establish the gist of the argument; moderation is not nearly enough. The opening sentence consists an authentic fire metaphor stating that “… while many may say that a spark is sufficient to ignite a fire, I believe that it is the fuel's energy that leads to either great destruction or a beautiful show.” Original, sagacious insights like this expeditiously establish his ethos, as many do not possess the intellect to write this eloquently. Another real-life example, not only to establish his point of view but also to segue into his thesis, follows. Both of these examples promptly assess his opinion and are crucial in establishing his ethos. To prove his thesis, Aksh uses Mustapha Mond, from Brave New World, and Victor Frankenstein, from Frankenstein. Mond is used to disprove the opposition, while Dr. Frankenstein is used to prove his point. Aksh points out that Mond’s only justification for the World Leader’s actions is because sacrifice is imperative for stability, then he proceeds to disprove Mond’s statement. He states that Frankenstein’s ambition led successful to the creation of the monster and that it was only Dr. Frankenstein’s immoral response upon seeing the creature that inevitably led to the murder of his friends and family. Despite the murder of William, Clerval, and Elizabeth, Dr. Frankenstein successfully achieved his goals. Aksh effectively assessed the prompt effectively, eloquently, and exhaustively, not only proving his opinion but also disproving the opposition. He promptly established his ethos and used logos to explain his thinking. For these reasons, I believe his short essay answered the prompt most effectively.
ReplyDeleteIn my opinion, Julia Kahen’s blog entry, offers a persuasive argument in defending the idea that moderation is an obstacle to success. Kahen’s delivery of her interpretation of the prompt was effective, coherent, and convincing. She explains that moderation is an impediment to the goals and accomplishments that one might seek to achieve. She illustrates that the characters in literature accomplishes their goals through the means of extreme passion, effort, and drive. Her perspective on characters that achieve their personal aspirations through, one might consider, unethical, but ambitious means, clearly depicts that the extremist behavior of these characters lead to their success.
ReplyDeleteKahen’s statement exhibits her position that contrasts the ideas that are popular. Instead of appealing to the audience through sympathy or emotional connection, she convinces the audience by the use of logos by persuading through simple evidence. She uses evidence from pieces of literature as she shows the means in which characters in literature succeed. Kahen uses Shakespeare’s Macbeth as an example. She explicates that Macbeth obtains the throne of Scotland through his passionate desire for power. Ultimately, his willingness to eliminate his competition for the crown allows him to acquire his wishes. Kahen’s use of logos allows the reader to see the countless evidence from literature pieces which illustrate that excessive effort results in the accomplishment of goals. She continues as she uses Frankenstein and the corrupt middle class as examples to show that great effort earn successful results. She also addresses how moderation can block the path to success in her inclusion of Brave New World as an example. Kahen states that the dystopian society of BNW stop its citizens from reaching personal goals through the prohibition of individuality. She further explains that by distributing soma, the leaders of Brave New World only allow moderation to exist. Kahen’s use of these examples of literature to support her position, allows her argument to effectively defend the idea that moderation is an obstacle to success.
Response to Moderation
ReplyDeleteThe response written by Eli Somers depicts how moderation is important and how although people driven by passion do shine, it is only for a short amount of time. This essay persuades the idea that while passion can drive you to do amazing things, life is a marathon not a sprint. Do not burn out quickly and prepare for the long game using moderation and pacing yourself. This relation to the terminology of running a marathon not a sprint is common advice given to people throughout their entire life. The control over the emotions in the paper and relating to reader’s terminology throughout their own life is well usage of pathos. Eli also mentions that in Canterbury Tales it even claims that moderation is a virtue and the most virtuous characters do not display greed and are humble. This reference to another work of literature that we read so far this year is use of Logos. He states a direct character such as the knight to support his claims that throughout CT the most successful characters use moderation to live a humble life. Finally to get the readers to actually trust his claims he uses world-renown works of literature. The three books he uses, Canterbury Tales, Frankenstein, and Brave New World were all written by well-known artists and looked at by many as more than just words on paper. This use of popular and trustable books to convey his message in his paper to his readers is Ethos. Although he could have italicized the book titles, Eli’s paper was written well and did not contain many grammar or spelling mistakes.
-Holden Sanderson
In my opinion, Julia Kahen’s blog entry offers a persuasive argument in defending the idea that moderation is an obstacle to success. Kahen’s delivery of her interpretation of the prompt was effective, coherent, and convincing. She explains that moderation is an impediment to the goals and accomplishments that one might seek to achieve. She illustrates that the characters in literature accomplishes their goals through the means of extreme passion, effort, and drive. Her perspective on characters that achieve their personal aspirations through, one might consider, unethical, but ambitious means, clearly depicts that the extremist behavior of these characters leads to their success.
ReplyDeleteKahen’s statement exhibits her position that contrasts the ideas that are popular. Instead of appealing to the audience through sympathy or emotional connection, she convinces the audience by the use of logos by persuading through simple evidence. She uses evidence from pieces of literature as she shows the means in which characters in literature succeed. Kahen uses Shakespeare’s Macbeth as an example. She explicates that Macbeth obtains the throne of Scotland through his passionate desire for power. Ultimately, his willingness to eliminate his competition for the crown allows him to acquire his wishes. Kahen’s use of logos allows the reader to see the countless evidence from literature pieces which illustrate that excessive effort results in the accomplishment of goals. She continues as she uses Frankenstein and the corrupt middle class as examples to show that great effort earns successful results.
She also addresses how moderation can block the path to success in her inclusion of Brave New World as an example. Kahen states that the dystopian society of BNW stops its citizens from reaching personal goals through the prohibition of individuality. She further explains that by distributing soma, the leaders of Brave New World only allow moderation to exist. Kahen’s use of these examples of literature to support her position, allows her argument to effectively defend the idea that moderation is an obstacle to success.
After the insurmountable task of writing an in-depth essay on moderation within literature, multiple responses were sent, many culled, all reaching for one, certain goal, being featured on Ms. Dibble’s blog. Among the many comments, a myriad of them stood out with persuasive arguments. However, the cream of the crop, the crown title comment, the ideal response, belong to none other than Teresa Lou. Her efforts in writing a persuasive speech show through her extensive explanation. Teresa’s points strongly supported her general statement, that moderation hinders success. While my argument contradicts that of hers, Teresa’s eloquent words hold value. My only qualm with her comment lies with her lack of pathos. Given that, everyone lacked the aspect of pathos, and most forgot ethos. Because of her intricate vocabulary, Teresa’s comment was set apart from the rest. Most noticeably, her management with the use of the word “moderation” impressed me. In addition, Teresa limited the number of passive verbs which allowed the piece to flow smoother. Detached from technical issues aside, Teresa created strong points with well-developed reasoning. Even her point about Chaucer and the longevity of his work had an interesting twist and a fresh perspective. Most noticeable of all, Teresa defined success of Frankenstein as progression in the scientific fields which foils most arguments pertaining to Frankenstein’s ambition. This new viewpoint added interest to me, as a reader. Overall, Teresa’s well thought out comment deserves to be the best of the bunch.
ReplyDeleteCompared to all the other essays, Aksh’s is clearly the best due to his use of logic and his vivid examples. His essay is well written and well structured. He makes connections to Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein and Aldous Huxley’s Brave New World, while also giving real life examples. Aksh uses pathos in the opening statement. He gives the reader a sense of his goal and purpose of this essay. He gives this remark in a somewhat inspirational manner. This can be implied from his opening statement ‘Great potential lies within each person, and while many may say that a spark is sufficient to ignite a fire, I believe that it is the fuel's energy that leads to either great destruction or a beautiful show’. He then proceeds to his examples from literature. This is where his use of logos comes to play, he gives clear connections to the novels and gives concise explanations and how they relate to moderation. His essay does not include ethos. However, he does not need it because he is Aksh and everyone already knows that he is a diligent student. His extensive vocabulary also adds to his credibility. Aksh’s essay deserves to be celebrated because it is effective in conveying his message.
ReplyDeleteIn my estimation, I believe that Jessica Ho answered the prompt, “is moderation an obstacle to achievement and success?” effectively, exhaustively, and eloquently.
ReplyDeleteShe starts her response with the history of the Elizabethan era and uses it to transition into Brave New World by Aldous Huxley. She finishes her introductory paragraph with a strong thesis in which she answers to its extent. When she starts a paragraph, she introduces the reader to the paragraph’s topic with a short summary, allowing the reader to understand the context of her writing. Aside from the effectiveness of her response, Jessica’s eloquence adds to its persuasiveness.
Jessica’s choice of words matches the tone of her response. It doesn’t sound like she searched up synonyms in the thesaurus, but it seems like she chose her words carefully so her essay would flow and make sense altogether. The use and choice of words give her an exhaustive aspect, but something that stood out to me is that she does not overdo the length of her sentences. Jessica has just the right amount of words in her sentences so that her sentences do not run on nor do they totally exhaust the reader into boredom. Jessica gets to the point, with 3E.
Jessica used her knowledge of 3E to prove her point on the subject.
After reading through the responses to the first Final Preparation blog, the essay that seems to provide the most effective response to the prompt would be the one written by Aksh Garg. This response presents moderation as primarily being a barrier to success and this stance is supported with two clear examples. In this response, the idea of moderation and success is presented in a thought-provoking manner that effectively draws in a reader to consider the topic and examples later shown. The eloquent language in this introduction showcases the topic in an intriguing way. In the first body paragraph, an example from Brave New World to answer the prompt with convincing evidence. The example provides a clear idea of how moderation can be negative to success. In the next example from Frankenstein, the need for ambition without moderation is defended as the counterargument if effectively defused. In the conclusion of this response, there is more effective persuasion and his position on this topic is clearly established.
ReplyDeleteThe persuasive devices of logos, ethos, and pathos are effectively utilized in this response to support the stance taken on the prompt. First, logos is present in both examples which use actual evidence and events from each novel. Additionally, examples from the real world that some may relate to or know of are used to further persuade the reader. Next, ethos can be found throughout this response as more intellectual words are used to present a sense of trust in the writer as he shows he is knowledgeable. Finally, pathos is found as the negative effects of moderation are presented, giving one something to relate to as one ponders the topic. This is made most apparent in the final sentence which appeals to the emotions of the reader, ultimately being rather persuasive. This response overall is very efficient when it comes to being persuasive and having impactful examples.
After reading many responses to the first prompt that was provided, I have settled upon Aksh’s essay regarding moderation. Not only did he provide a convincing argument, but also rebuked any possible counterarguments that the reader may ponder. Aksh brought up valid questions, like whether a person will not participate in a game just to avoid losing. Would an individual rather be stagnant and in moderation or in the pursuit of his/her goals? He brought up the idea that the universe would not have the resources we have today without the scintillating minds of Albert Einstein and several other scientists. Although most protagonists in our novels fail at the task at hand, they still achieved miraculous feats. For example, Victor Frankenstein created life from corpses of dead bodies. Aksh pointed out that the reason Frankenstein “failed” was because of his moderation after creating the monster. However, this does not dismiss the fact that Victor Frankenstein achieved a supernatural feat in creating this being. Without his passion and drive, Frankenstein would not have conquered such a big challenge that inevitably changed people’s minds forever.
ReplyDeleteAksh also appealed to the audience by opening up with a statement that uplifts the reader. By stating that each person has great potential, he implements pathos in an effective way. His opening statement also gets the reader hooked, therefore causing the reader to continue to read the essay. Aksh implements logos well by stating facts throughout the essay regarding the core novels we read. Not only does it serve as a refresher for the reader, but also gains the writer credibility and trustworthiness. Lastly, he implements ethos by convincing the readers that he is a credible source. Throughout the essay, Aksh makes sure to rebuke any possible counterarguments, and uses proper vocabulary, spelling, and grammar to be a reliable source. In the end, his usage of logos, pathos, and ethos created a reliable, trustworthy, and valid piece of writing.
Many arguments were presented when the idea of moderation and success came into question. All responses were well-thoughtout and effectively expressed ones opinion. Many exhibibted the best of the 3 E's and deserve acknowledgment. However, when reading each response, one writer's work stood out to me as being effective and straight to the point. The writer whom I believe deserves the most acclaim for their work was Jaden Nguyen. His work was very well-written and exhaustively stressed his opinion over the idea of moderation and how it effects certain situations that can be presented. Within his respone, I believed he did use Pathos, Ethos and Logos inorder to support his argument. When supporting his claim, naturally Logos comes first into play by stating facts that support the argument. Brave New World's story talks of a dystopian society that thrives on the idea of moderation. Nguyen focuses on John the Savage and the part he plays in the book. John grew up in the natural world of the reservation and when he is brought into society, he felt quite unhappy and out of place. Evidently he leaves to the median place, trying to take the moderate path and not be involved in either society. However, when attempting to be moderate it evidently leads to his death. When connecting the prompt to Macbeth, he used the idea of Ethos by stating how Macbeth lacked the idea of moderation and how the character almost felt as if he didnt have control of the situation which takes away the idea of his credibility. Next, he expressed the idea of pathos. For example, when using Frankenstein to support his claim, he said how the character was quite the opposite of being moderate when he created this creature, however, even though he was able to create artifical life, it ruined his life due to his lack of human connection. This ultimately led to his demise but also the demise of the Monster due to the lack of love and compassion he receives. Every response was very well put and served its purpose, however for me, this writer was the best of the bunch. Ema Straser
ReplyDeleteIn the essay written by Ronjini Chatterjee, she states that moderation as an obstacle to success does not show in the literature that we have read thus far. While others tried to analyze the opposite, this was a unique twist and a very unshared view which she was successful in her persuasiveness. The student listed several examples that were not used or lightly touched upon to create strong arguments to support her topic. When referring to Brave New World, she engages the reader with the use of the term “our society” versus the terms of morals to “Brave New World’s society.” Such use engages the reader by association, thus allowing the reader to be an inclusive body to her argument. By using Pathos, she creates a common ground, or sense that the reader can relate to, and then presents a statement that our whole society can agree upon. Using this common ground, the reader is more invested in this argument and more likely to agree upon her prompt, therefore strengthening it.
ReplyDeleteThrough Ronjini’s argument, the reader can see a clear direction of how she wanted to take the article. Systematically, she was able to point to the direction of the argument and factually supported her statement of moderation by defining success as a relational pivot to moderation. This was key in her drive to answer the prompt. The essay was never at one point where it was uncertain where to go next. Instead, it was flowing through the carefully chosen transitional statements and facts that supported the thesis. Nothing in this essay ever felt out of place or awkward. When starting a new point, the author always tried to tie her old reasons from earlier to strengthen even further her point. This lead to an interesting read. I did not see a need to refute or support her position through the works. The examples that she pointed out, one of Brave New World an the other of Canterbury Tales, was largely successful in striving to contradict the point that moderation was the bane of success because she had already taken the effort to define the idea of success through POV. Even in the end, she was able to point out that the work of Canterbury Tales was, in itself, a writing that is currently taught and learned although it was not a writing that was largely popular in English society at the time. Once again, she points out that success is relational to moderation. This time, she uses not the characters of the story but the actual body of work and its means of moderation in society. This, in relation to the success of the body of work leaves no loose threads and instead, threads an eloquent conclusion. This blog should be the one chosen to be the most persuasive.
Tiffany Cha
After reading all of the responses, I think Kiku wrote the most eloquent, exhaustive, and effective essay. For her first evidence, which is from Brave New World, she uses logos and pathos to back up her argument. For logos, she explains the definition of the other world’s success and how they did in fact accomplish that goal according to their standards. She provides reasoning coming from the content of the novel to describe how their government did not need moderation to achieve success. For pathos, she describes the lack of individuality and free thought of Brave New World’s people. By elucidating how they do not understand rational thoughts, she appeals to the audience how different perspectives can alter the way of interpreting the definition of success. Using logical reasons and an appeal to emotions, she created a solid argument to persuade that each novel creates their own meaning of success. In her second example from The Canterbury Tales, she utilizes logos to interpret Chaucer’s connotation of success. She provides a character from The Canterbury Tales, which would be the Knight, as an example of how being completely virtuous leads to the accomplishment of a goal. Being moderate does not have any significant benefits in The Canterbury Tales, as shown by other characters who possess sins and virtues. Finally, in her last piece of evidence she uses pathos to justify Frankenstein’s point of view on success. She establishes how due to his passion and lack of moderation, he was able to achieve such an extreme goal like creating life. In Frankenstein, an ambition can lead to accomplishing goals according to Frankenstein’s perspective. Due to the use of different perspectives and logos, pathos, and ethos, she was able to support the thought that the definition of success depends on the novel.
ReplyDeleteNanako Tanisaka
In my opinion great arguments have lots of evidence and a mindset of getting there argument across to the reader. After reading all the blog entries I found the bog post by Teresa Luo to contain lots of evidence in her argument and by effectively using the three E’s. Teresa uses three out of the four works of literature to find all the evidence to further support her argument already using the second E exhaustively not cutting herself short of any available evidence. Through her use of her word choice and vocal to convey her ideas, and her use of dibble diction words.Teresa argues that although moderation and restraint benefit order and regulation in society, they limit ones ability to be eccentric and cause new changes in society through the checks and balances of trial and error. Through the use of diction and evidence of characters in Frankenstein, Brave New World, and Canterbury Tales teresa proves that people who “achieve success hold outstanding talents, but are also curious and contain fearless hearts that helps them perform distinctive deeds.” Mainly teresa uses logos to convey her points to the reader through examples in the text for example, she uses victor Frankenstein from Mary shelly’s novel to prove that victor was a successful scientist who “conquered the moral line of mother nature” he achieved his goal from daring and risky science that were extremes. She then uses Geoffrey Chaucer’s Canterbury tales success to prove through logos or logic to the reader of Chaucer’s achievement of his novel defying social norms and bring matters taboo into the light. Teresa's use of ethos is her credibility in reading all the works of literature and being successfully able to prove herself through her use of the three E’s. The reader feels pathos through Teresa’s ability to manipulate our feelings through making us relate to our own success and how this has either been cut short by moderation and restrictions or how restrictions have made us just short of success. Since our own society pushes for moderation one can see how moderation can be a problem for other to achieve their own goals and one can make a decision based off of this knowledge that moderation is an obstacle through success. All of this is what can be gathered from Teresa’s persuasive essay and this one deserves to be recognized as a top argument towards the moderation prompt. This argument outshine others in its beautiful use of all thee E’s and follows the template and tools Pathos, Ethos, and logos to further convey the message of moderation truncating success and the importance of different and bold risks to new discoveries. Overall, I throughly enjoyed this essay and believe it should b e placed on the top of the best bunch.
ReplyDeleteIn the first blog entry of the week, we argued whether moderation is an obstacle to success. I argued for both sides as I usually do. My phycology tends to see a little of truth in everything. I tend to believe that nothing is one hundred percent right. Yet, literature is a subject of interpretation. It does not matter what stance you take rather, if you can back up your claim with evidence. One of the greatest people at this task would have to be Aksh. He eloquently states the facts and uses ethos, pathos, and logos in his arguments. The thing that I like most about Aksh as a debater is his ability to argue for both sides regardless of popular opinion.
ReplyDeleteIn the previous blog entry, Aksh mentioned that in this argument perspective is key. He sees moderation as an obstacle to success. He states,” For example, one may stop playing a game altogether to avoid losing, but in doing so, he also prevents himself from winning.” in order to convey the point that if you do not take risks there is no reward.
Aksh uses the dystopia in Brave New World as an example of moderation holding people back from greatness. Mustapha Mond claims there is a price to pay for stability (a sacrifice). The sacrifice is argued to be a form of moderation. Mustapha Mond brain washes the population, isolates them from knowledge which would force them to ask dangerous questions in the eyes of the government, and rids them of all personal attachments/feelings. Without this they cannot grow. They have been so sheltered from failure that now they cannot succeed.
Aksh claims that Victor Frankenstein’s fault was not to be blamed on ambition it was instead to be blamed on his negligence and contempt towards the monster. He toyed with nature and played the role of God. Yet, he was not ready to take the responsibility of being this creature’s creator. Even if he had made the monster, if he had only raised it correctly then, it would not have been a threat. In conclusion, moderation is an obstacle to achieving.
I believe that Aksh had the most persuasive essay about how moderation is an obstacle to success by how he wrote his blog using the 3E’s. While other essays communicated their ideas well and persuasively, Aksh was clearly the best. He shows both sides to his discussion by using Mustapha Mond as an example as he has shown excellence in creating his ideal society but ends up suffering due to what he has created. The people of Brave New World accept moderation and cherish it as all of them are engineered to do one thing only which is to breed and keep their society together. Aksh shows both sides of the argument in just the first paragraph, showing how conflicted peoples views are depending on their society. He then goes into detail about his second example which is Frankenstein and the main character Victor. Aksh again goes into great detail about how Victor was everything but mediocre in his ambition to create the monster. Then something I haven’t thought about was how mediocre Victor became after he created the monster because of how depressed he was after the deaths of his family members. Aksh wraps up his essay with how he believes that practice beats talent when the person doesn’t care enough and wants to stay in moderation. I believe that this blog is the best essay written out of the three classes due to its thought-provoking ideas and details along with its strong use of logos, ethos and pathos.
ReplyDeleteAfter reading all of the blog entries surrounding the topic of moderation, I decided that the most effective essay was Aksh Garg’s. With an advanced vocabulary he wrote an essay in which it was written effectively, exhaustively, and eloquently. He lucidly stated his opinions and provided specific examples from both Brave New World and Frankenstein. He implemented the use of ethos to support his claim by asking questions to the reader, which contributes to a new train of thought. These thoughts are created by questioning the ethical points of view on the subject. He deliberately stated factual evidence and uses logos from both books to clearly expand on the examples from both books. Aksh also utilizes pathos by discussing death in Frankenstein and how that affects and connects to the topic of moderation. He additionally states that in his opinion, “practice beats talent”, and by inserting his own opinions, it contributes to the pathos of the reasoning as well. Not only did this essay effectively utilize logos, ethos, and pathos to illuminate his claim, but the structure and vocabulary used in the writing was superb. Therefore, I believe this essay should be considered one of the best of the bunch.
ReplyDeleteAfter reading the previous blog entries, I decided that the one that persuaded me the most was by Russell Chuang. I believe that his essay persuaded me by answering the prompt effectively, exhaustively, and eloquently. The essay used every book read so far as well as different reasons to persuade the reader without leaving any stone unturned. Each point made assisted in strengthening his argument. He was able to convince me, someone who wrote in opposition, to agree that moderation is needed for success. His essay is one of a higher level and will encourage me to use some of his techniques to improve my own writing.
ReplyDeleteRussell also applied pathos, ethos, and logos to improve his argument further. The essay made an emotional connection when mentioning how Frankenstein ruined his relationships with family and friends over a lack of moderation and strength. Family and friends are really important in life and without them life would be so much more boring and lonely. Ethos is displayed through Macbeth and how lack of moderation has deleterious effects. The effects of his irrational thinking to kill the King for power led to his own downfall. His actions led him to his own death. Macbeth is also representative of logos and how none of his actions for more power were derived of common sense. All in all, this essay was able to effectively, exhaustively, and eloquently persuade the reader that moderation is required for success.
I believe that Aksh's response to the prompt was among the best of the answers that were given. Aksh took the stand that moderation does inhibit achievement and success, an idea that I myself believe in as well. In his response, Aksh made many valid points to clearly and effectively prove why moderation is an obstacle. He was also able to make use of logos extremely well, and he also used a little ethos and pathos along with it. In the example of Mustapha Mond, Aksh used logos to persuade the readers that what he was doing was very bad. Mond was constantly talking about making sacrifices, and Aksh made the good point that sacrifice is a form of moderation. Because it is clear to see that the society in Brave New World was not working out, it is also made clear that it was moderation that made the society like this. In Frankenstein, Victor was one of the characters that was "plagued" by ambition. Aksh said that at the beginning, Victor's ambition was good because the discoveries that he made were far ahead of his time. However, as the reader can see, once Victor's ambition left him, he abandoned the creature and did not care for it whatsoever. In his response, Aksh used a logical argument to show that if Victor had sustained ambition towards this creature, then maybe the outcome of the story would not have been so bad. In regards to ethos and pathos, Aksh appealed to his audience by using certain words and phrases that would speak to the heart and mind. For example, in his argument using Brave New World, Aksh used the freedom of speech to try and win his audience over. Most people love the idea of freedom of speech, and to have that taken away would be unimaginable. Aksh used some ethos through his example in Frankenstein, as he explained that maybe we can't fully trust Victor, the narrator, so we must choose to think about his decisions for ourselves. If a person reading his response believes that a person's childhood determines the kind of person they will be when they are older, then the reader will be able to relate to what Aksh is saying, and understand how the whole story could have been different. Because of all these things, I believe that Aksh's response was among the best.
ReplyDeleteToby Wakefield-Carl
I believe that Helen Huang’s response perfectly epitomizes the 3Es and adeptly answers the prompt. She uses effective, thoughtful diction and eloquently defends her points. Helen’s first paragraph successfully establishes the definition of success that her response will be based on and introduces her stance and thesis in a natural, well-written way. There, she also effectively establishes her ethos and proves she is a reliable source by explaining the definition of success without bias before leading into her own thoughts on the issue.
ReplyDeleteHelen begins by using Frankenstein as an example of why excess ambition hinders success rather than promotes it. She constructively employs the use of logos in her analysis of Victor Frankenstein’s actions in the novel and explains that the cause of Victor’s downfall was his recklessness and consumption of his own ambition. She also interprets Victor’s creation of the monster as a failure rather than a success, writing the powerful conclusion: “If Victor truly obtained success, he would not have fled from it.” In this paragraph, Helen provides a new and interesting interpretation of the novel as well as a fresh take on the prompt.
She also delivers a refreshing interpretation of the theme in Macbeth, choosing to focus on Lady Macbeth and her ambition rather than Macbeth himself. Still, the message is the same; Lady Macbeth is ultimately consumed by her own ambition, and it becomes her downfall. Helen’s quote in this paragraph, “Shakespeare is no amateur in the design of death; Lady Macbeth dies at her own hands which explicates how short-lived her success truly was” is a very insightful interpretation of Lady Macbeth’s character and brings a meta, introspective perspective to the implications of Lady Macbeth’s tragic arc. This paragraph once again cements Helen’s belief that immoderation can be detrimental to the process of achieving a goal.
Helen then deviates a little by analyzing John from BNW. She commends John for his passion and zeal but acknowledges that his virtues also ended up being his downfall. She comments that it is so human of John to feel so passionately, and it is truly a result of the conflict between himself and his environment that led to his demise. This brings a very realistic interpretation to her response and provides a refreshing and powerful insight.
The last paragraph in Helen’s response really secures her points and does well connecting the three characters through their shared ambition and drive. Overall, Helen proficiently employed the 3Es and her response is an admirable example of an honors-level piece of writing.
The essay that stuck out to me and answered the prompt effectively, exhaustively, and eloquently was Anish Ramireddy’s essay. I came across his essay and I thought that it deserved to be commemorated as one of the best of the bunch because of how well written it was. Anish successfully incorporated ethos, logos, and pathos into his essay and used them to his advantage. The essay was very detailed and contained appropriate evidence about the prompt.
ReplyDeleteAnish effectively included logos and ethos into his essay by stating important facts and examples which made him sound like a credible source. He added facts and supported them with evidence in an attempt to persuade the reader that moderation is an obstacle to success. After mentioning an example or fact about the topic, he would support it with evidence from pieces of literature that we read. In addition, he incorporated logic and reasoning into the essay which made him sound more knowledgeable about what was being said.
He also included pathos in his essay by using meaningful language and emotional examples that the reader might be able to relate to. In the essay, Anish seemed very confident about the facts and examples that he stated while also using sincere language. He made the reader feel like he sincerely meant what he was saying and convinced the reader that moderation is truly a dangerous obstacle to success. Hence, Anish effectively used ethos, pathos, and logos and successfully persuaded the reader that moderation is not necessary for success.
The essay that answered the prompt most effectively provides a unique perspective supporting the statement that moderation is an obstacle to success. Lauren Mar provides evidence from Frankenstein, Brave New World, and Macbeth, and explicates that a world of extremely moderate civilians fails to achieve the same progress that a character of passion and ambition does. Mar’s view on BNW and how the over-moderation of its society causes a regression rather than progress is most distinct to me. The idea that people in BNW have reverted to the most primitive forms of humans despite the technological advancements in their world serves Mar’s argument well. It is not the technological achievements that are the pinnacle of success but rather the people who are; in BNW’s case the people are completely lacking in any form of progress since they are deficient in the qualities that distinguish individuality. Mar also eloquently states that Victor’s anguish was due to the disturbance to nature he caused by creating the monster, which she smoothly transitions into her views on Macbeth’s ambition.
ReplyDeleteThe paragraph about Frankenstein exhibits logos by expressing several refuting points to the initial argument but eventually connecting to the overall idea that excess ambition results in the completion of a goal whereas excess restraint does not. Mar also utilizes ethos in her first paragraph where she confidently and clearly states her belief in moderation being useful only in moderation. Logos is further incorporated when she compares Victor to Macbeth, once again reasoning that while they both suffered tragic deaths, they had still successfully completed their goals. Each paragraph flows and logically supports the first paragraph. Finally, Mar opens and closes her essay with the same thought that progress and success do not stem from moderation.
In order to effectively answer analytical questions it is important the writer is concise, eloquent, and effective in using literary examples and fully answering the question. Utilizing concepts such as pathos, logos, and ethos can also further enhance. Amongst the responses to the question is moderation and obstacle to success I felt Kiku Shirikata’s response fulfilled the traits previously described.
ReplyDeleteHer introduction directly cut to what her position was on the topic and gave a general outline of her opinions. She simply expresses, “Therefore, I think that depending on the perspective of the person and their definition of success, the answer to this debate can be determined.” This statement fully summarizes her answer to the question which she follows up by leading into the literary examples she chose to support her answer.
Each of her body paragraphs are formatted similarly and illustrate her ideas in an organized manner. She begins by summarizing each piece of literary work and then, in the following sentences, establishes each work’s ideas of success and the particular situation she is using to support her argument. After stating her points she then proceeds to make a concluding sentence which determines is moderation is or isn’t an obstacle for success in the given situation. By consistently following this format and using direct yet eloquent language she is able to demonstrate her position on the topic without confusing the reader.
She earns her credibility with the readers, which can also be recognized as the usage of ethos, by explaining her supported opinions in an understandable way. Her credibility is then further established through her use of scholarly diction. Logos, the reason behind her arguments, is also widely used throughout her analysis. She describes specific situations from the literary works comprehensively and then connects them to her point, therefore, clarifying her reasoning. For example when relating Frankenstein to the topic she explains, “The monster that he creates is without a doubt, exceptional and extraordinary, and a success for that was what Frankenstein set out to accomplish and eventually accomplished.... Thus Frankenstein was not successful, because he lacked moderation.” This shows a perfect example of using logic and reasoning to connect a situation to a given topic.
If used correctly logos, ethos, and pathos can undoubtedly convince and inform any reader. Additionally, clarity, which she exhibited, is essential when answering analytical questions because it is simple for a writer to become unorganized with the various ideas they’re juggling. Since Kiku’s response to this question truly encompassed many key positive traits she was able to create a convincing argument.
I believe that Kiku’s response both effectively and eloquently answers the proposed question by providing several enlightening examples from the various all Brave New World, Frankenstein and the Canterbury Tales. The start of the short essay which presents the question as a debate, helps establish to the reader that there are two opposing sides in the presented question. Inclusion of such lines thus serves as a prime example of ethos, as she establishes herself as a credible writer who is speaking from an unbiased perspective, and simply presenting evidence of results of moderation from different stories that we had read this year. This unbiased nature is further represented in the following lines wherein she admits to having two different perspectives in her own mind and thus is highly unlikely to oppose any one perspective of the argument unless having conclusive evidence to support her point of view against someone else’s. Next, she invokes the topic of what one considers to be success, which is an invocation of pathos as it makes the reader consider what he or she herself defines success to be as. This idea is strengthened when the readers witness their own ideas being expressed in someone else’s paper, as it leads them to a sense of trust in the person writing the article.
ReplyDeleteNext, all body paragraphs begin with a description of the overall plot of the story which once again causes the reader to consider the writer as a trustworthy person. Furthermore, she gives concrete and well-developed reasons for how her interpretations from each book are justified, thus providing a persuasive argument about how each novel addresses the issues of moderation being helpful and going awry. Furthermore, he descriptions are objective which leads to support from both sides of the debate and thus the writing is able to target a larger audience. To reinforce that idea that the debate is based on perspective, she repeats that the ideas presented in Brave New World can only considered to declare moderation as an obstacle if we consider free will and ingenuity to the definition of success in opposition to world peace and stability. Therefore, by constantly repeating the idea that success is only defined by the boundaries set by us, she makes her initial point more supported with evidence.
The essay I decided in which the prompt was adequately answered written by Russell Chuang. Russell eloquently proposes his thoughts in easy to read points. He covers all of the pieces of literature that were discussed throughout the school year.
ReplyDeleteRussell uses logos to point out the subsequent lack of logic in the characters from novels. In the case of BNW, he uses logic to pick apart the society of the book. He questions whether or not the society was truly successful. Their lack of moderation in decision making is something Russell discusses, with their lack of levelheadedness ending up to be a crucial mistake.
Russell's use of logos makes his submission one of, if not, the best.
Aksh Garg's essay on the effect of moderation on success answers this most pressing question with a persuading eloquence, effectiveness, and exhaustiveness. Garg used sophisticated vocabulary and mature sentence structure, shaping his depth of understanding of the issue. Through this stylistic writing, it is clear that Garg comprehends the material past simple analysis of the literature and can focus on eloquent methods of conveying his opinion. Along with Garg's articulate communication, the effective organization and clarity of the essay proves its rightful place among the top pieces submitted. The introduction paragraph clearly states Garg's intentions with the essay and his definition of success and moderation, preparing the reader for the information and opinion to come. The points made with each example of literature support his opinion effectively and makes the essay pleasurable to read. Finally, Garg's exhaustivity of evidence and explanation of such evidence forms his opinion in an extremely well-supported manner.
ReplyDeleteGarg also uses ethos, logos, and pathos in order to connect with his readers on several levels. Through confident delivery, sophisticated and factual writing style, and a humanistic approach, Garg portrays himself and a credible writer and leads readers to trust him and accept his opinion more readily. Garg utilizes logic and reason to support his writing through well-structured analogies, such as the comparison of life to a game, as well as examples of real people like Einstein, to prove his statements and opinions with an applicable message. These aspects encourage readers to connect with Garg on a level that especially pertains to their own life. Finally, readers are able to connect with Garg through emotion with his expert use of vivid language, inspirational anecdotes, and relatable sentiments. This use of ethos, logos, and pathos demonstrates the skill and analytic depth of Garg, and proved his essay as one of the best submissions answering the question at hand.
JJ Abele
In the argument for whether or not moderation is an obstacle to success, Russell Chuang does a remarkable job at defending the idea that moderation is in fact not an obstacle to success, but a necessity. By exploring the characters and plot points of four separate novels he is able to exhaustively support the need for moderation in society. In each novel, he explores the need for success is met with a lack of moderation and this is ultimately the downfall in each novel. By focusing on specific aspects of each novel he highlights how moderation was prevalent and successful, of lacking and causing faulty aftermath.
ReplyDeleteBy utilizing advanced vocabulary and presenting information in a structured manner, he achieves an eloquent evaluation of the prompt. The easy to follow text is coupled with an effective layout of information to offer the reader a persuasive and captivating piece of text to analyze and configure opinions based upon. As the prompt instructed, this analysis was coupled with support derived from the text to back the idea that moderation is a necessity to success.
In addition, utilizing pathos by comparing events in the presented novels to events in our society especially while discussing Brave New World helps waver the reader to the argument of the author. The connection of Brave New World to what our own future could look like connects to a fear of the future that most humans have embedded within and the idea of becoming numb to the actions of the government is something that is easy to connect to and feel emotionally connected to. In addition, ethos is presented as a strong factor in why moderation is necessary. Ethically people know the deprivation of basic human necessities is unjust and immoral especially when it is self-inflicted. Through the exploration of Frankenstein in his essay, Russell proves how the lack of moderation caused Victor to become sickly and lose connections to important members of his life. By exemplifying “pure passion” Victor shuts himself away from society, which in the eyes of most people is ethically wrong and unhealthy. Utilizing logos, he also provides support to the idea that without moderation one can be driven to the point of murder much like Macbeth or be driven to the point of seclusion much like Victor Frankenstein. Logically no one should have such a lack of moderation that they are driven to murder and this idea is explored thoroughly.
By utilizing logos, ethos, and pathos in addition to providing information in an effective, eloquent, and exhaustive manner, Russell has proven that moderation is not an obstacle to success. This stance was proven by exploring four separate novels and deriving support from the main plot points and characters. Through all of these tactics this analysis of the prompt given by appealing to logic, ethics, and emotions coupled with a well-structured, and exhaustive outline proved his stance as to why moderation is a necessity to success.
Moderation as an obstacle to success or not has manifested itself in the literature we've read so far. I believe that Elijah's post best answers the prompt effectively, exhaustively, and eloquently. This prompt is the best out of the bunch.
ReplyDeleteThis essay uses the argument that moderation is not an obstacle to success, and is actually the key to it. Logos is utilized to produce the bulk of evidence for this point of view. If you are overambitious and consumed with ambition, you'll miss out on the good things and life. Without moderation, your life will full of stress and anxiety. Due to moderation, you can find that work-life balance. Overworking yourself burns you out in the long run. So to live a balanced lifestyle you need moderation in some aspect of your life.
Ethos also has been used to support the argument. He uses characters from the Canterbury Tales such as the Knight and Doctor. The Knight is a humble and simple man. He wants to fight for his country and God. He doesn't live the life of splendor and donates to chartities. Likewise, the Doctor is the same. He has money, but doesn't want to splurge it on unneccessary things.He wasn't gluttonous and didn't live a grand life. The ethics of the characters show they live life in moderation, making it virtuous. These characters exhibit a few the cardinal virtues which is what the author wants. Chaucer wants everyone in his book to live a life of humility.
Pathos is the last technique to explicate his argument. He uses Victor Frankenstein as an example. Victor became obsessed with creating life he forgot his family and living life as it is. He created a monster whom destroyed his life and family due to his lack of moderation. In the end of the book, due to hios lack of self-control, he abandoned his monster on the world and it commited all sorts of evil deeds ranging from murder. He wouldn't stop his monster in the first place and it came back with a vengeance.
Akash Garg’s essay immediately stood out to as being the best. This was not only due to his ability to use the language effectively, but because he showed a strong foundational objective clear throughout his writing. His careful choice of expressions show an extremely high level of complexity, formulating and facing each sentence in a way that each added sentence makes the essay better. He starts off his argument offering a neutral perspective, which shifts accordingly with his analyses on the pieces of literature. We see a clear use of logos in these analyses. When he argues for the scientific significance of the monster he makes a parallel to the calamities following Einstein’s nuclear bomb. His argument that Victor’s tragedies, were merely a cause of his negligence towards the monster, is backed with a rather advanced historical analogy that everyone is well aware of. His entire conclusion is an effective use of ethos and pathos. When he expresses his personal philosophy that “practice beats talent”, it makes the readers picture the author’s supposed humble demeanor. Because he believes great effort and passion to be a rather obvious component of humanity, we can infer he has lived by this philosophy himself and thus prove it with his own experience. He concludes by saying that we would be reduced to the same intellectual positions as animals and that we would still be living in the dark ages if passion were absent from our lives. Being compared to an animal is something many people would find offence in and the mention of our lives’ luxury brought upon by humanities long history of passion speaks to our senses. Some have said that his initial framework of his essay hindered its effectiveness, I think the opposite is true. Because it was a topic initialized to set completely differing perspectives recognizing both was crucial in winning curiosity from both sides.
ReplyDeleteAlyssa M
After reading each blog entry, there were a select few that came across as a 3E response, but I came across one that stood out to me more than any other. The writer is Nicholas Constantino whose blog was not only effectively, exhaustively, and eloquently written, but also flawlessly answered the prompt. I think that this essay deserves to be celebrated as one of the best of the bunch because it explored one side of the prompt, convincing the reader that moderation is an obstacle. Although the essay was somewhat similar to mine I feel it offered more insight to things I didn’t realize and offers a persuasive argument by defending one side.
ReplyDeleteThe first sentence of the essay uses pathos, like Nick says we can relate to it on a personal basis. Moderation shouldn’t be forced upon people but it is definitely necessary in regards to a safe and simple life. He explains how success should be earned and Victor from Frankenstein by Mary Shelley is a great example of this, showing us that by going up and above, success can be achieved. Pathos is also used in the description of John’s situation. The extreme moderation of the citizens in the BNW society drove John insane. He was barely understood by them because they were programmed into knowing and not knowing certain things and as an outsider he was rejected by society. Hence, this essay is certainly effective and I believe that it would score an eight or nine based on the College Board scoring.
An effective essay is persuasive, clear, and sophisticated. I believe that Ian Miller’s response to the prompt regarding moderation completely checks off all of those boxes. Ian uses a unique format to qualify his belief that passion is an important factor in success, but it can get out of control, and moderation is then necessary. He provides examples from the literature we have read as well as real-world examples that many people can relate to. By choosing to combine both examples, it makes his essay particularly engaging and understandable. If someone is unable to relate to the examples from literature, then they may be able to relate to the examples regarding either high school, successful entrepreneurs, or famous celebrities who started at rock bottom and improved their lives.
ReplyDeleteIan uses ethos by plentifully in his essay to get his point across effectively. Ethos is particularly displayed quite frequently in his example regarding Frankenstein. He uses ethos to prove how Victor Frankenstein made ethically bad decisions by pushing all his friends and family away to focus on his mission to create the “superhuman”. This was an ethically poor decision because in the end he ends up losing not only the majority of his friends and family, but also the “superhuman” himself. Ian uses logos particularly in his example of the modern masters of technology. He uses factual evidence to show how the passion and drive that these men displayed is the reason for their success. If they had a lack of initiative, they would have probably been nowhere near as successful. Ian uses pathos with his examples about Neymar and Stevie Wonder. These stories tug at your heartstrings as these men had to overcome great obstacles to get to their peak of success. They also had extreme passion and will to achieve which made them so prosperous in their respective careers. Ian effectively uses examples from literature, real-world examples, and ethos, logos, and pathos to prove his point in this essay.
After reading many short essays in response to the opinion of moderation in regards to success, the response that I think responded most effectively was Jayden Nguyen. He used eloquent evidence from each literary piece we have read so far in order to back up his opinion. Not only did he use ethos, pathos, and logos in his essay, but he had a clear thesis. Jaden starts off by saying that “In one’s journey to achieve success and accomplishment, one must display some level of self-control and moderation when working toward one’s ambition”. He makes his position clear that in order to achieve any success in one life they must first have moderation. He states that moderation is necessary for success due to the many pitfalls of striving for success without moderation. He then uses his thesis to let the reader know what exactly he is about to prove and to completely answer the question at hand and leave no doubt in the mind of the reader on his position. His thesis “Individuals are seen to result in failure after not moderating themselves in the stories of Brave New World, Frankenstein, and Macbeth” is then immediately backed up with evidence from Brave New World. He uses logos in this paragraph as he states that because John the savage was without moderation it led to his eventual downfall, but first describes what success looks like in the case of the novel. He eloquently describes to the reader that John was stuck between two extreme worlds, neither which had any moderation and both which were corrupt. This he states “John’s final moments are somewhat representative of him meeting a moderate place between the two societies as he is not a part of either society, but at a halfway point. In his isolation, he is not deprived of his own human nature, and he is not completely cast out of society, so he achieves moderation” further probing the importance of moderation in Brave New World. He then goes on to use evidence form Frankenstein who was without any moderation and “Frankenstein is over enthusiastic when making the creature, so he is isolated from society and blinded by his ambition leading to his ultimate failure in life”. Here he uses ethos to describe the emotional downfall that met Frankenstein over the loss of each of his loved ones. Jaden states that exemplifies that at certain times one needs moderation to limit one so that one is not excessive and destructive with one’s effort. McBeth is lastly referenced “Had Macbeth showed control and moderation, he would not have put himself into trouble and he would have achieved success as the king without any worries. This is another example of needing moderation in one’s path.” to further prove how moderation is needed in one’s path to success otherwise they will be consumed by their ambition. This is a testament to both Frankenstein and McBeth who were driven mad. His last paragraph perfectly ties it all together and restates that moderation is not a hinderance to success but rather vital for the achievement of success. All his solid evidence and eloquent thesis is why I think Jaden's response is the best.
ReplyDeleteAnanya Chaudhari’s essay on the contingency of “what is right action?” in relation to an individual's goals, effectively uses ethos, pathos, and logos to demonstrate its point.
ReplyDeleteEthos: The essay is supported by a firm backing of philosophical thought and historical precedent. The Scottish philosopher and historian David Hume, born in 1711, proposed a philosophical tool called the fact-value gap, or Hume's guillotine. This philosophical construct states that statements of ethics, such as “you should not kill”, can be derived from statements of fact, “if you stab her she will die, Frasier!” Extrapolating from this one can derive that all moral considerations are contingent on the goals of the agent. These terminal goals can be value statements like, “I want to live a life of moderation” or “I want to work to excess,” and can’t be disputed by rationality unless thought of as instrumental goals to others’ terminal goals. With this philosophical thought from distinguished philosophers as backing, the essay comes across as authoritative and not to be contradicted.
Pathos: Quoting the supporting texts with passages about application or lack of moderation and following with reactions to those passages lends an emotional cadence to the essay that only anecdotes and their kin can provide. Portraits of characters’ strong opinions on the subject of the essay make the reader consider their motivations - further bolstering the author’s opinion on the central topic.
Logos: As seen above, the essay has a strong backing in logic - but it further compounds its rational backing with looks at the supporting texts. It uses examples from the text as data points supporting its central conclusion, and increasing the reader’s certainty for the premise’s validity. The essay’s claim that action is only able to be judged from the perspective of the agent taking the actions, is ratified by The Squires and Victor Frankenstein's own situations - providing a strong argument for all to witness.
-Connor